Day in Indy

David and I had another day in Indy today at St. Vincent. We started the morning by meeting with the doctor who will perform surgery on Hope, Dr. Young. Then we went for an ultrasound and a meeting with a maternal/fetal medicine specialist, and finished up by touring the NICU and talking to one of the doctors there.

We went into the visit with Dr Young with a million questions to ask him. He surprised us, though, by starting out the visit explaining that he would prefer to wait until Hope is 3-4 months old to do surgery. This was something we had seen in stories online, but nobody that we have encountered in the process yet had said anything of the sort. Until today, we had been told that surgery would happen within 24 hours of Hope's birth. Naturally, this new information started the visit out on a good foot for us. He explained that he would prefer to wait until Hope has grown a little bit to do the surgery, providing she has a good, strong layer of skin covering the encephalocele. He told us he would be happy to let us take her home and have as close to a normal life as we can for those months, bringing her back this summer for surgery. When we told him that we would be moving to the New York suburbs this summer, he said, "Oh, I've got a friend in New York who could do the surgery!" While we liked him enough to hope that he can do the surgery for us here in Indiana, we were encouraged that he had somebody on the east coast he could refer us to.

Dr. Young's office was run so efficiently that David and I had about a 45 minute break before needing to be back for the ultrasound, so we took a Panera break and got some bagels to munch on, basking in the good news and thoughts of taking Hope home before Easter.

Back at maternal/fetal medicine, we were told that our usual doctor, Dr. Hiett, was not in, but that we would be seeing a different specialist, one of his 3 partners. We were taken back to the ultrasound room, where the tech took the measurements, and got the cool 3-D picture above. We were thrilled that Hope let us see her face today. We have had 6 ultrasounds up to this point, and this is the first time she has been positioned correctly to see her face. Thank you, Lord, for giving us this joy today! The tech talked us through what she was doing as we watched on the screen. Hope is continuing to grow well. She is still small, and both her head and abdominal cavity are smaller proportionally to the rest of her body. They are not off the charts, however (around the 5th percentile). But she is growing proportionately. The ventricles in her brain looked fine today, and we watched on the screen as she made breathing movements. My amniotic fluid level is still exactly where it should be, and her bladder was full, indicating that she is swallowing.

The consult that we had with the doctor did not go as well as we had hoped it would. This man seemed to have a different agenda than Dr. Hiett, and he used scare tactics to try to push us into having the amniocentesis today, and to move our scheduled c-section date up significantly. While I was frustrated and upset by his approach, David was as solid as a rock, telling the doctor "no" at every turn. Finally, he left the room and we were free to go as well. We will be returning to their office in 3 weeks to have the amnio and talk to Dr. Hiett. As it turns out, we will be changing our c-section date, but not for the reasons he had suggested. We learned that he is the doctor on c-section rotation the day we are scheduled, so we will be picking a day close to that when Dr. Hiett will be on duty.

Our visit ended by touring the NICU and speaking to one of the doctors there. We liked him as well. He was kind of a happy medium between the super-upbeat neurosurgeon and the overly-pessimistic maternal/fetal guy. He was careful to listen to what our desires are for Hope, while cautioning us about the dangers in our situation.

We will be returning in 3 weeks for another ultrasound, the amniocentesis (finally!) and a consultation with the team of people in the NICU who deal with parents choosing comfort care for their babies. While we hope we will not need them after Hope is born, we need to talk with them beforehand so they can get to know us and understand what our desires are for Hope, as well.

We realized today that we have another area that have not even thought to be praying for: we need discernment as we deal with doctors and nurses who will be informing our choices about care for Hope. Talking to Dr. Doom-and-Gloom made us realize that his interests do not seem to line up with Hope's best interest, and we need to be able to tell that about someone before they offer their advice or professional recommendation about what we should do in various situations. In dealing with St. Vincent generally, we have been thrilled that nobody has (outright) suggested we terminate our pregnancy. The suggestions of the doctor today were along those lines, and he was offering them with a heavy, manipulative hand. We pray that God will open our eyes and allow us to see the agenda of the people caring for us, and then allow us to respond with resolve.

And as always, we thank you all for your prayers. Thank you for praying, and thank you for letting us know you are praying and asking how we're doing. We're learning that God gives us grace to handle the problems of today, and we pray for peace as we try to not worry about the problems of the next few months. And thank you to those who have so willingly watched and offered to watch our kids. Sweet Heather had our 4 children from 7:30am until 5pm today, plus her own 5, and she looked as cool as a cucumber when I went to go get them. Thank you all for loving us in this way.