1 Week

This picture was taken Monday night, after we got home from the hospital. I'm hoping to get my camera out today, since every day she's looking less jaundiced and more like a real baby.


The hospital did indeed let us go on Monday. As I had anticipated, there were a few speedbumps getting out the door with Hope. Unfortunately, just because I knew there might be some problems did not make those problems any less emotional for me. We started by being given a list of specialists we would need to follow up with. It included a pediatric cardiologist. Hope has a condition called arterial septal defect, or ASD for short. The gist of this is that she has a small hole in one of the walls of her heart. It is non life-threatening, and could possibly fix itself. We are praying that it does fix itself, but if it does not, will require surgery in about a year. We had known about this for a few days, since they do routine echos on newborns with any birth defect. What was new to us, though, was needing to follow up with a pediatric orthopedist. We were told, by a new NICU doctor that we had not been working with, that Hope had hip dysplasia. They did a quick ultrasound on her and confirmed the diagnosis. This condition, when found early (0-6 months), has a non-surgical treatment that is very effective (the baby wears a brace for about 2 months). If not treated, it can lead to all sorts of problems, including varying degrees of lameness. At the time, I felt that the doctor was being overzealous. How come our other doctor had not heard the tell-tale click in Hope's hip that this new doctor had? I was extremely frustrated. When we got home, though, my dad helped me think through the benefits of something like this being found early: it means that Hope won't have trouble walking, and although the treatment will be annoying, it will cure her problem and she will never remember it. What it meant for me, sadly, was yet another impediment to bonding with my baby--which I felt I had already missed 5 crucial days of in the NICU. Our final speedbump involved them declaring our carseat unfit, and David needing to go down to the hospital supply and buy a completely new one. I'll leave that story at that. There were several times where I needed to leave the room and cry by myself, and David took care of the situation. I am so thankful that he had the ability to handle the situation with composure and grace, where I just wanted to throw up my hands and scream.

Finally, they let us go. We came home to 3 big kids completely thrilled to see Hope, and one littler kid less thrilled. In all the worry about Hope, I had completely forgotten to worry about Rose adjusting to being a big sister. And it has been an adjustment. She has cried a fair amount, thrown some pretty decent temper tantrums, and generally been clingy. But each day is getting a little better for her, and I'm trying to hug her and hold her as much as I can.

We also came home to a house held completely in order by grandparents. My parents and David's mom have done a great job taking care of everything: I have not had to worry about entertaining kids, taking sick kids to the doctor or picking up prescriptions, and I think I even heard the vacuum just now. Our parents have been amazing.

While there is still so much I could write, I'll try to hit the highlights of the past few days quickly. Our pediatrician down here, Dr. Laughlin, referred us to an orthopedist here in Bloomington that could look at Hope's hip for us. My Dad took me to see him on Wednesday. He was able to relieve my worries a lot. Hope's hip is a little loose, but that is not uncommon in 5-day olds, and often they tighten up on their own. Additionally, if Hope's dysplasia does not tighten up on its own, it is such a minor case that she would not need to wear a brace--they would just keep a close eye on it over the next year and then re-evaluate. We also learned that Bloomington does not have the technology to do the hip ultrasounds, so we will be needing to go back up to Indy in a month for an evaluation by a pediatric orthopedist who can do the ultrasound. We got paperwork in the mail yesterday from Peyton Manning Children's Hospital with a list of about 5 appointments with different specialists that she will be seeing in the next 3 months. The most significant is the neurosurgeon, Dr. Young, and we will be seeing him mid-May. Until then, we only have routine new-baby checkups with Dr. Laughlin, who has been extremely kind and helpful through all this stuff the past few days. He has even come to recognize my mother-in-law, who had to take Laura in last Friday with a burst eardrum, and then Rose in on Tuesday with an ear infection. She'll be going again today--taking Carver back to see if his strep has reincarnated.

Please pray that our children will heal. All 4 of the big kids have a cough and runny nose. Laura and Rose are on antibiotics for their ear infections, and we'll see what Carver needs today. The kids all want to touch and hold Hope so badly, but we're trying to hold them back a little bit so they don't cough and sneeze on her. It's tough.

But, above all, we are still rejoicing in our miracle baby. We pray that she will continue to grow strong, and that we will be able to handle whatever comes her way with grace.